How to take a day off
Just over 18 months ago I became a full-time carer for a close family member. Since that time, I feel as though I have had to re-learn what a day off means for it is more than not working or caring. I have approached it as a true rest day – a time where my only concern is to nourish and nurture myself so that I feel restored and refreshed for whatever my caring responsibilities need of me.
The idea of a day off or a rest day is not new. The practice of observing a day of rest can be traced back to ancient times. Across various cultures and religions, individuals recognized the necessity of a designated time for mental and physical respite and rejuvenation.*In fact, the weekend originated in Manchester. During the Industrial Revolution, a young man called Billy Marsden campaigned for Saturdays to be a holiday as an aid to boosting productivity and physical restoration. His bid was successful and the weekend was born.
I have found taking time to rest and revitalise is essential not only to my general wellbeing but also to my ability to function effectively. As my rest day is my opportunity to prioritise my physical, mental, emotional, and social wellbeing needs I have learnt to treat it as a precious time. I now treat my rest day as a sacred practice.
Let me share with you five things that I have learnt.
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Listen deeply
Amongst the key things that I have discovered is a deepening awareness of what my needs are. To support myself better I need to know what I need. To understand what I need has required a much deeper level of listening to my body, mind, and soul. There are times when I am tired and need to sleep or rest. There are times when I need to move. There are times when my mind needs soothing. There are times when my emotions need to be expressed. Increasingly I am finding that I am tuning in at an intuitive, almost sensory level to my needs. Do I need connection, fresh air, or homey comforts. Going to the cinema becomes a choice between sitting in a dark, stuffy room, filled with other people, or enjoying the spaciousness and freedom of nature. Whatever I choose I am enjoying the process of learning to trust my intuition more deeply, especially as it always seems to be right.
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Uncompromising discernment
One of the first things I did was to give myself permission to let go of chores and housework. As I only have myself to care for on my rest day, my day of rest has become just that – a day of rest. The cleaning can wait, the washing can wait. My sole priority is to only do those things that nourish and nurture me. Having lived like this for over a year, this way of being has now become a habit and one that I don’t plan on letting go of. As my time feels precious, I choose wisely what I will do with it. I do feel that having less free time has helped me to focus my mind and intentions on what I truly need. I have noticed that I make more of an effort to meet with friends and maintain friendships meeting my need for connection. I am having a wonderful time exploring walking in the Peak District meeting my need for solitude and reflection. I have discovered new creative pursuits. The process of having a day to choose what I do has led me to a more expansive and exploratory outlook on life.
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Balance of activity and rest
It is an Ayurvedic principle that “like attracts like.” This means that the more you sit and are sedentary the more you will want to sit, whereas the more you move will increase your motivation to move more. For me, this balance between activity and rest has been a tricky one to navigate. I have needed to rest more than ever before but resting too much contributes to feelings of lethargy, stuckness and isolation. Too much activity though has left me feeling tired and depleted. It has led me to develop an inner conversation with myself and honest reflection about what I need. Is what I am drawn to actually what I need?
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Permission to say no
When I first became a carer, I felt as if my life had been turned upside down. My caring role was all encompassing. I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and had little time to myself. Even doing the smallest task beyond my caring responsibilities felt like a humongous challenge. In response to this I had no choice but to become ruthless in what I said no to. Although my circumstances have eased, I am careful not to have lost my ability to say no or to choose to do less. There is an enjoyable sense of pacing myself and valuing the not doing as much as the doing.
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Value the little things
It is very cliched to say this but valuing the little things has helped me immensely. A long soak in the bath, snuggling up under a blanket, reading an enjoyable book or enjoying a hot cup of tea. It is easy to overlook the value that these give. We are commonly conditioned to view these things as “a nice to have if there is time” or alternatively we feel guilty that these things are not a proper productive use of our time. Shifting my mindset to prioritising the little things has certainly helped me to slow down my day and be more mindful. One of my great learnings has been in the power of pottering. I embrace the letting go of needing to get things done and let myself meander through a gentle could do list. I have no expectation to achieve anything. I find it a very restorative way to move through a morning.
How about you? When you take a day off, do you find it restful? Do you make space in your weekend to rest and be? If you don’t, I would encourage you to reserve some time to do this. It might be anything from an hour to an entire day. Treat it as a sacred time to nurture yourself.
If you find it difficult to make space and time for yourself then please join me for one my Sunday Night Yoga Nidra events happening over the Summer. Snuggle up in your own home and follow my guided practice to promote deep and healing rest. Click here for more information and bookings.
* Did you know that the weekend originated in Manchester. During the Industrial Revolution, a young man called Billy Marsden campaigned for Saturdays to be a holiday as an aid to boosting productivity and physical restoration. His bid was successful and the weekend was born.
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